Speaking about her experiences during the covid pandemic, Tray talks about how art and creativity have helped prevent her mental health from deteriorating.

 She discusses how people with no confidence or background in creating artwork could be encouraged to begin to tap into their creativity.

 Also explored is the challenge of how to make people aware of any new projects that they might benefit from.

Hello, Trey. Do you do you want to be called Trey or Tracy? Tray is fine. Thank you. Good

Good. How are How are you today? You OK? Yeah. I've had a nice day

Thank you. It's my mother's Day, and it's so seeing my family and had some food and had a nice afternoon. Yeah

Are you OK? I'm I'm Well, thank you. Yeah, I'm doing well. Um, good

So to start this interview, can I ask, how has the coronavirus pandemic affected you and the people around you? Um well, I I think I'm kind of getting used to it now, but it's been very up and down. You know, when it started, I was kind of like, Oh, this is OK. I just got to hack it out for a couple of weeks

I'll just sit in the garden and I was on the phone to loads of people and, you know, it was quite sunny, I think, when it started. So I was just topping up my tan and I didn't see my daughter for about a month apart from she popped down. One day she just dropped me something off on the doorstep

And but it was all it was a bit surreal, but it was kind of I was. I did quite well for the first few weeks, and then they opened it up again a bit, didn't they? And it it was very strange. Like I had to go to town and post something in, um in the in the first in lockdown one

And it was very eerie and to see all the shops shut and hardly any people in town found it. Quite. It was quite apocalyptic

It were quite. It was like something that it was like being in a film. Um, but I I I think overall, I've actually dealt with it quite well, especially since they start allowed started allowing bubbles

And my daughter's been my bubble. So I've seen her, you know, pretty much nearly nearly every day. Um, but it's, I don't know

It's it's hard to tell what's what. Sometimes I've had some very down days and some very weird days where I thought, Is this my illness? Or is this you know? Is this the bipolar or is this lockdown weirdness that's affecting everybody? And it's it's hard to tell. Sometimes it's hard to know exactly what you know

I felt lonely. I felt isolated. But I feel like that anyway sometimes

So it's hard to know if that's the lockdown or if it's just, um, just part of my illness. Um, I found some of it very tough, like usually my daughter comes down in the daytime and then she'll go home 30 and I'll have my tea. But then I'm just kind of sat on my own, and I'll just feel a bit bit lost in the world

I think sometimes, and I have had times where it's like the enormity of it has kind of built up, and I've got really panicked thinking, you know, it's a worldwide pandemic and things are freaking out all over the place. What's going on and I've tried not to look, have not looked too much into this conspiracy theories and stuff like that. But you can't help but come up

You know, if you're on social media, you can't help but come across that kind of stuff. And what are they putting in the vaccines? And it's all a big con and, you know, it's just so the drug companies can make more money and stuff like that. But you just have to I don't know

I've just kinda I've got my bubble. I've got my friends that I speak to on the phone and stuff like that and meet up for a socially distanced coffee with once in a while Now we're allowed so But overall, I'd say it's been quite strange, but I think I've coped with it quite well. Yeah, well, I I appreciate what you say is, especially with me having bipolar myself

I I know that that can be confusing knowing whether the the emotional roller coaster is from within or without or and I I I think you do need to give yourself credit for how you've dealt with it all. But, um, have you have you found that being creative has helped you during all these restrictions? Definitely. Um, I just Definitely

Yeah. I just moved into a new studio last January, Um, with the Collaborate people. So I've been using that for a couple of months, and then obviously it shut down and we weren't able to use it, but I'd realised we knew the lockdown was coming, so I'd gone and got some of my art supplies and brought them back home

Um, it it took me. I just brought my acrylics home, and, um, that's it. Um, it took me quite a while to get into being creative

Like I'd had a couple of girls and it won't really flowing. And then the one day it must have been nice weather again. I was sat in the garden and I picked a palette of about 12 colours

Well, exactly 12 colours. I know, because I've used the same colours for most of lockdown, and I just really enjoyed, um what I created with that using loads of colours and using that palette. So, um, from then on, I got a bit more into it

Um um and really enjoyed it. And really, I stuck with those same 12 colours because I wanted to. It was a bit it

I wanted it to kind of represent the fact that we still had some freedoms, as in there's 12 colours to choose from, but we were still quite limited. So obviously there's, you know, the paint I was using. They've got a range of about 50 colours, but, um, yeah, So after a couple of months, I've got, I got I got more into the swing of it because I find it quite difficult to adjust from, like, working in my studio to working at home

It's quite a big. It's quite a big change for me. Like, if I move studio again, that'll it'll be another couple

It just takes a while for me to settle down. Um, so, yeah, I've painted, I reckon I've painted at least 200 paintings, if not more. Um and yeah, it I mean, I've used We were both Have we? We've both used, um, being sorry

You know, we've both been able to be fortunate enough to be part of an organisation when it started, that was, that really helped us to know how much our creativity can help us in times of instability. Um, so with that in mind, that is so it there's been times when I've been like this last year since this pandemic's been on, I'll get I'll get quiet down, and I'll just be sort of stuck on the sofa for four days and not really doing much. And it's like, Come on, Trey, do a bit of do a bit of artwork it'll make you feel better

But if you're not, sometimes if you're not feeling inspired as such, it's really hard to make yourself do it. But, like I, I hit a bit of a flat spot about six weeks ago, and I've not done anything creative for a week or so. And it was like you've been wanting to make some cards for ages, just go and do it And it was like, Oh, I will in a bit Go on trade, go and do make some cards And I did and it didn't I didn't feel any better, actually, Really

As such, however, I felt a bit better because I'd managed to produce something. Sometimes creating art does have a really lifting effect on my mood almost instantly, but sometimes it, you know. But I've had quite a few sessions where I've just made something and just felt that tiny little bit better that at least I've actually produced something that day, not necessarily ever going to be considered my finest work, but like I

When I just went and made some cards, I was like, Oh, actually, that was the perfect activity for today because it's not, it's not like you're trying to create a wonderful piece of artwork. I'll I'll do A I'll do an air free sheet of I've been using alcoholics. I'll do an air free sheet of that and then chop it up into smaller bits to go in the cards

And then there's a sort of repetitiveness of sticking everything down and making sure it's clean and folding the creases and putting it in its little plastic wallet and putting a little stamp on the back and stuff like that. So, yeah, I have have definitely I I definitely definitely. I'm glad that I've had it become explicit through through, um, that art is good for your mental health

Um, so, yeah, it's it's it's definitely kept me going And I've had Well, you won. You won a prize, didn't you? So little things like having a competition on my Facebook page that generated a bit of, um, enthusiasm and a bit of excitement. And, you know, I gave away some of my artworks as prizes

All that was the other thing. So I started working on paper because I am quite a prolific artist and canvas takes up a lot of space and I'm in a tiny nine ft square spare bedroom at the moment for my art. So I haven't got a lot of room

So, um, I started painting on paper and I thought that might help make because I get very art work. I don't know about you, but I do get very attached to some of it. And, um, I thought if they were on paper, it might help me let them go a little bit easier, which it has done, so So, yeah, I'd I'd I'd say I I I think the longest I've gone without painting or doing anything creative is like a week, maybe 10 days

But then I definitely feel better, even if it's just produced something. But sometimes it does just, you know, I can be in a state. I can be feeling a bit of an, you know, anxiety or depression or I or just feeling a bit strange, feeling a bit off

You don't quite know what it is. And there have been times when I've got into the studio and picked up a brush or a palette knife and just thought, Oh, I feel OK now, just not not amazing but just, uh OK, I feel OK now. This is my brain's gone normal again

So sometimes it is almost like flicking a switch. That just makes me feel OK again. But not all the time

Otherwise, I'd just paint all the time on and feel normal all the time. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? Well, I know you put a lot of pressure on yourself over your productivity, but it's good to hear that you do that. You do enjoy the process as well and that you can feel it

Um, do you think if there'd been some community classes, like an art group on Zoom, do you think that would have inspired you and encouraged you to to get up and do something and maybe give you a prompt? Or do you think that would have been more pressure? Um um, to be honest with you, I'm a bit late to the zoom game. I've only I've only started in the last few months using it a little bit. And I've done a couple of quizzes with happy club care, and I've done a couple of quizzes and meets with collaborate, and I've had a couple of like one to ones like this, but, um, I'm not very organised

So if someone had said right at three o'clock on Wednesday afternoon, we're gonna do, um I don't know. Whatever we're we're gonna show you how to make macro make plant holders or something. I probably wouldn't just be all together enough to be joined in

Um, so I I I I'm just not I don't know May Maybe, maybe Maybe it Maybe it would have been helpful. Or maybe it would have felt like pressure to be creative at a certain time. Or, you know, um, within those kind of right, it's three o'clock on Wednesday

We're doing this. But, I mean, obviously, we're in lockdown for another couple of months or whatever with the meeting slightly. But maybe for next lockdown, I might be more open to trying stuff on Zoom

I've got a friend who she does. She's done a She did a zoom poetry workshop the other day, and she said it was really good really helpful for her. And that was a That was a full day thing that she did

Um, but it's not something I've tried. So to be fair, I don't think I've I don't think I've had any invites to anything like that or seen anything like that, you know, advertised. But I I probably wouldn't have joined in, to be honest with you, Um, that is another question

This is gonna sound really weird, but I've got you. What? Sorry. It is

Another question is how How would they get the information out to let people know what was happening? Hm? Yeah, well, it's so I I you know, I do go on Facebook every day I go on instagram, but it's very hit and miss with whose posts you actually see and stuff like that. It's really frustrating because you could have the best event planned and invite all your friends and and 9/10 of them don't actually see the invite. You know, unless you're it's really hard work

Um, because you'd think if it was going to be a computer workshop, then the best way to let people know about it is via the computer. So maybe you need to have, you know, whoever's organising, you know, if if whoever's organising it needs to have a good email list of people to invite, I suppose I don't I don't really know. It's difficult

It's difficult unless you've really got your ear to the ground. Like unless I was checking. I don't know, like, s two R website or the Creative Minds website Or you know, any other, um, the recovery college or or anything like that

Unless I was checking on their sites once a week, I'd I'd probably miss most of the info anyway. It is it. It is really difficult these days to get to get stuff out there

I think they're very pointers. Trey. Um, yeah

Do you Do you think there'd be any other any other pursuits that you'd want to get involved in or see in your community? Um, do you think there's anything practical that would help like like, have you got the materials you need? And I'm good for materials right here, As if you remember from what we used to. Well, I I've got a lot of, um, art making supplies. Um, which is one of the reasons why it gets so difficult when I'm in my studio because I'm literally tripping up over stuff

I've just I've got a lot of work. I've got a lot of stuff. I've got lots of different because I do oil paint and do acrylic paint

And I do glass painting. I do wax painting. I started using alcoholics

I've got all my work in my back. I used to do a lot of glass painting, so I've got all that stuff. I've just got tonnes of, um, art stuff, but I don't know for other people, maybe

And and, you know, I've been It's 15 years since we started. Um, something like that. So I've been using, uh, as a tool for my well being for quite a long time

Or, you know, on when I've been when I've had the opportunity to But, um, you know, maybe people who I tell you what actually I think would probably be good might be something for people who've never been into that, you know, to have some really basic kind of, um, skills given and maybe some material. So, you know, if you if you've identified 10 black and Asian women because you've mentioned the the the thing to do with this interview, you know, if you identify however many people and say right, we're going to give you some. We're gonna give you some water colours, and we're gonna give you some, Maybe not water colours, actually, because they're difficult

We're gonna give you a small set of acrylics, and we're gonna give you some oil pistols, and we're gonna give you the right paper, and we're gonna give you some canvas, and we're going to give you the right brushes because that can be really daunting. You know, if you went into colour graphics and you'd never been in before, you wouldn't have a clue where to start. You wouldn't know what brushes went with what paints

You wouldn't know why certain brushes needed different. Why? Paints need different brushes. You know it

It can be quite overwhelming. I remember when I first started painting I got water colours because I could clearly see that they were water colours and I could clearly see water colour paper. And I could clearly see watercolour brushes

But I was really scared to, um this is before we had the studios. But yeah, I was really sort of scared to ask questions and look ignorant and not know what I was doing. So, you know, I messed around with water colours for a few years at home, Just not as often

You know, if if maybe if someone had clearly said to me then this is really good for your mental health. I would have used it more. But as it was, I I painted quite sporadically just when I was in the mood

But I didn't have any encouragement. Our support, whereas a We had a lot of encouragement and support, didn't we? To express ourselves and stuff, but I don't know it. Yeah, maybe, um, I'd like I mean, I'd I'd like to see everybody being able to use creativity sometimes to help themselves

I'd love to see everybody tap into it because I think we've all got it. And especially, like the kind of work I do where you don't need to be a draughtsman. You don't need to be able to draw something that looks realistic

You can just mess about with colours and hope for the best and and see what happens and experiment and stuff. So sorry, I've I've, um I think I might have gone off subject there a bit, but, um, no, no, I don't know. It would be great if we could convince everyone in the world that they can be creative and knock Knock them out of this idea that they're no good at that or they can't draw

Yeah, I know a lot of people have started out thinking that they can't draw and then being able to just really enjoy splashing paint about and yeah, under it when? If if they can see that there's people who've got really famous artworks in museums and galleries that can't draw more than a stick, man don't know. But yeah. And, um, yeah, we, um, speaking of the black and Asian minority ethnic communities, do you think that, er your ethnicity has influenced the way that you've dealt with the pandemic and it's affected you? Not really

I don't think I mean, I'm stressed. I'm half Jamaican. I'm half Yorkshire

But I definitely identify more with the Yorkshire side because I've been born and grown up here, Um, so I don't know, but it's been very isolating, and it we've all been sort of stuck in our little cocoons at home and trying to get through and make the best of it and have our little bubbles and, you know, dash to the supermarket in our masks and gloves and and get what we need and come back home. And I don't I don't I don't think my ethnicity has had much difference than if I'd been white or Asian or any other. Um, me personally

Anyway, I I don't really think it's made much difference to the to the to how the pandemic has affected me. Um, yeah. I wish I had a better answer for you than that

But that's it. That's fine. No, no, there's no right and wrong answers

The right Answer your answer to me. And And I'm really grateful for what you've shared with us today. And and, Yeah, I owe you one

You can buy me a coffee when we're allowed out again. Yeah, OK, you can hold me to that. Thanks, Trey

Well, no problem, Rene. See you later. Bye

.

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