Community Reporter Interview :Zabair Hussain

Eliza Bear. Hi. How are you today? You're right. I'm very well, thanks

How are you? Uh, I'm good. I'm good. Very, very many

Thanks for taking part in the project about your experiences of how you've been experiencing covid. And, um Yeah, thank you for taking part. And I'm just gonna ask you just Could you just tell us how you how have you What have your personal experiences been, uh, during the time of covid and its impact on you? Sure, sure

Thank you. First of all, for inviting me to to do this, Um, I guess on a personal level, it you know, it's been challenging. Um, because I work in the health services

Um, you know, I I haven't been able to, you know, go go on furlough or take time away from work. We've been working nonstop throughout the pandemic. Um, and that's been difficult because, um, my my job involves seeing patients face to face and and helping them and doing psychological therapy remotely has been challenging

Um, so on a job level, it's been tough, but on a local, you know, personal level, it's been difficult as well, balancing the changes in my personal life still meeting the demands of work as well. It's been stressful. It's been difficult

Um and I think I think the uncertainty, um, that I faced which I guess all of us have faced has really impacted, I guess my anxiety and stress levels as well. Um, it's been difficult at times. The unpredictability, the uncertainty, the unknown, um, as to what may happen next, it's been quite challenging

Um, so it's been difficult, I guess. You know, managing Still work. Managing family life as well

Family commitments. That's been tough. Um, so yeah, it's been quite it's been quite a challenge

OK, And could you identify any particular because you talked about, like, the uncertainty? In what ways is that really What? What has that really brought up for you in terms of working under under under lockdown? I guess it's just been the unknown not knowing what's gonna happen next, not knowing what we what we are supposed to do, I think initially, when the um, lockdown happened, there wasn't much guidance because I think nobody really knew what was going to happen. What's gonna happen next? And a lot of people were looking for answers Um and I guess that's that's what I'm referring to in terms of the Ann and I guess the timescale as well, not knowing when this will be over not knowing when we will be out of it as well. That that that was a challenge as well

Um, but I think just reflecting back in the last 12 months, um, I I I think the most difficult part, um was was not seeing my colleagues face to face and not leaving the house as much. I'm quite an outgoing person. I like talking to other people

I like that interaction with other people as well. And that was quite a challenge. I think

Initially in the lockdown, I kind of set myself quite some good goals and targets that, you know, every day I will try to go out on the lunch time, get away from my laptop, not have that kind of laptop. Kind of, um, constant exposure going on. But the motivation soon dwindled, and I found myself becoming really unhealthy

Um, and the motivation really, uh, drop in as well, Which was quite concerning after some time that there was I I I'm just in front of the laptop day and night. It wasn't great. So just that thing that you felt you were keeping on and you weren't able to get find any kind of structure within that to to To To to meet other needs that you might have in terms of your own mental well, well being and also your physical well being as well

And both have those to her interrelated. It was kind of a serious impact. Did it feel like you just had to get through stuff? Was that what? What What you were feeling when you were were stuck in front of the laptop and not not doing things which might have also helped to be a distraction and a benefit to your health and well being? Absolutely

I think you made a really good point that that that that that interaction between your mental health and your physical health because I I found that I was lacking that structure and routine that I normally have. So, you know, waking up by a certain time getting ready, getting, you know, engaging in self care that I need to get to work. So I need to look smart

I need to be clean. I need to look presentable because I knew, um, you know, the most exposure I'm gonna have is zoom meetings. I knew I didn't have

I didn't have that stress or that pressure really to motivate myself to do that. So I saw over time, self care was lacking. But just physical movement as well

I guess there's only so much you can do within your four walls. And then I noticed that my weight started increasing the aches and pains just in your body because you're just sitting down in front of a screen for the whole day, and I guess it's different when you're in an office, you might have your friends or colleagues tell you, like, Come on, let's go out for a walk or let's go out to get some lunch So I found myself not even taking lunch breaks. So it was just There was no structure, um, which really started impacting me after some time because it really impacted my sleep as well after a while, because I just wasn't physically active

So your sleep suffered. Did you find you were sleeping more or sleeping, sleeping less or less, much less right? Just less. Um, I think it's because I wasn't, um, I was feeling very fatigued

I was feeling very tired most of the time, but I wasn't sleeping much, and I think it's I think it's because I was, I guess waking up later because I knew I didn't have to drive to work. I didn't have to get ready. Um, and I wasn't I I I guess I wasn't active

So I wasn't tiring myself out to to sleep almost right. And so, in terms of like your your your mental health and well-being, how's that? How's that Affected your relationship with your family and the wider community that you're you? You may be part of sure. I think isolation was a big thing

Um, I think that really impacted my interaction with the with the community. I found there was a period where, um I was I was losing contact, Um, and and contact became less frequent all the time with people who usually help me or support me in my work or even in my personal life. So that cut off started occurring with the community, and I think I think as a family, um, you know

Luckily, I come from a supportive family, but I think it can be difficult at times. It's almost like cabin fever. You know, you're all in one house, you're indoors all the time, and that can be quite challenging

Um uh, as well. And it's hard not to step on each other's toes all the time as well, and just each other in, you know, in each other's face at all time that that was quite a struggle. So I think, yeah, it it it It wasn't just a challenge for me

I think it's a challenge for the whole family. It it was difficult being indoors at all time. And you, I guess on a wider level

It was difficult because I've got a lot of family who who who lived away, Um, still local, but in other areas and not being able to visit them not being able to. And and I guess one thing that really impacted me. I'm just thinking about this not seeing my nephews and nieces

That was massive. Um, because on a weekend that was a given, they'd come over, I'd go to them, you know, we'd go out to get something to eat, it'd be quite a nice and joyful experience. Not seeing them really, really impacted me

I felt really quite sad. It was almost this weird kind of grief not seeing them. OK, that's true

Do you think there's, um, in terms of being like I am a member of the ethnic minorities? I don't massively like the word B m E, but it's a kind of a catch. Um, would you say there's been any particular thing that has stood out for you as some as someone coming from one of the ethnic minorities and belonging to an ethnic minority in this country or this or in this area or this town at all? I I I think definitely because, you know, um, if if we think about it, um, ethnic minorities, we're very community driven. We're very, you know, collective culture, um, operating in the in the diverse community and the minority community

And, you know, I I I don't mean to make a generalisation here. Um, but we tend to be much more the the family network seems a lot tighter. Um, and and and there are very strong family ties between generations as well

Um, and I think of me certainly in my family. And I know when I speak to my other friends who belong to a similar background when they talk about it, it really impacted them. You know, not going to Grandma's not going to auntie and uncle or them not coming over as well

That had a massive impact as well. Um, for me personally, going to the mosque. Um, I I think, um, this was my first Mahara

Where, um I I think I only went to the first night of Maharam, which is the month of mourning or for some Muslims that really, really impacted me because that was a community event and and that kind of shapes my identity shapes my mental health during during that that particular month and that really, really impacted me. I felt it was weird. I felt quite lost, um, and said that I'm not even even though it was happening online

We could watch it online, but not physically being present, not physically being there. And that was a point where I'd get to see my friends. I'd get to see other family members as well, and it was a real collective um, almost collective, Um, process for that whole entire month and not being part of that really, really affected me

I remember I was really quite upset about that. Yeah, and also there was the issue around Ramadan and Eid that happened earlier on in the year, and I think that really upset a lot of people as well, because it it felt like something was being pulled away from them at the last minute. I think as well, definitely

And if we think about Eid a again, it's a joyous occasion. It's a chance to get together. It's a chance to see your family, who you might have not been seeing for months and weeks and being deprived of that

That was painful. Um, I remember my mom was incredibly depressed. She was really upset and really depressed, not having you know, the whole family around it

It's a big thing for Muslims cooking for everyone, having everyone around and then going to each other's houses as well. Of that interaction taking place had a massive impact, and I think it'd be fair to say on everyone's mental health and that feeling of togetherness that people, as you say, that people have at that moment and also looking forward, looking forward to it. The build up around it as well, you know, I imagine that's terrible

Um, are there any activities that you think that you you that you've been doing anything that's changed in terms of activities or in activities that would support you? I think you think through covid or um Oh, sorry, I I've got something playing in the background there. Sorry. Can you still hear me? I can hear you

OK? Yeah, that's OK. Sorry. Um, in in terms of activities

Ok, I guess I'm thinking about what Activities? Help me. I used to go to the gym at least 2 to 3 times a week. Right? That really helped me for my mental health

Just a bit of a I've got an incredibly stressful job. So that was my stress relief, The gym. And unfortunately, when the gym's closed down as well that that I was a bit on a loose end

So there was a period where I had no physical activity because it was just weird. Like the motivation went, the energy went, um, I wasn't doing anything. And what did help um I've got a really good friend, and he suggested Well, OK, the gyms are closed

Um, what if we do, like zoom exercises? Like a session together? And and that was awesome. That was incredible. So, you know, we we turn on each other, so we'd set a date

We'd set a time. Um and and that was nice. Something to look forward to that

Oh, yeah. This isn't almost my virtual gym time. Um, And then, you know, he'd have his on, I'd have my camera on, and and and we do a lot of workouts together, and I I I I I think that really helped me

It really picked up the spirits. And it was something to look forward to as well in the evening, rather than just your normal, mundane routine. Right

OK, are there Are there any particular activities that you think you would that would help that that you might, that you could access during this time in order to help you? Or do you think that other people in the B MA community could help Could access in this time in order to to to feel more supported? Yeah, I think I think I I think there's a generational gap here. Um, I'm I'm just reflecting on my experiences through work and personal experiences as well. Um, I think in the lockdown, it was a given that everyone has an understanding of technology and and and the Internet and, you know, with virtual meetings, virtual things

And and and And I think that was a really unhealthy assumption to make, because the older generations don't really have that concept of virtual meeting or even the basics of setting up a virtual meeting. So I think even having some sort of hub where we could meet but maintain social distancing and doing it in a safe way would have been extremely, extremely helpful, I think spiritually just for me, still having access to a place of worship but in a safe manner would have been extremely helpful just somewhere to escape, um and and and And just see people from a safe distance would have been really quite nice, right? So you could have that togetherness. But but but have it in a in a kind of controlled space in a way that was safe for all the participants

Yeah. Definitely. Yeah

Yeah. Well, I think I've kind of I'm gonna double check my questions here. Sorry

No, no, no. It's OK. Uh, I think that kind of, like, where is there any any positives for you that lockdown has bring? Has brought it all I I I think the main positives would be appreciating the smaller things in life

Um, it it's been challenging. Um, you know, not being able to go on holiday, um, this year or last year. Sorry

Um, it's been challenging. Just not sitting in your car going for a drive or going out to eat or a restaurant, Um, and in in in an odd way, having those materialistic joys of life taken away from you. Um, it's made you appreciate the smaller things in life the bonds you have with your family and appreciate your family much more as well

And what What support? They can, um, provide as well on on that note? Um, I guess it was a challenge, because in my in in in some, um, in the extended family, some relatives, we we have had some deaths, unfortunately, due to COVID-19 and and and again that that was massive. Um, especially in the Asian community. Because when we have a death or a funeral, it's a massive collective, um, event

Almost. It's, you know, we grieve together, we mourn together, um, and and and I I think that was a challenge, Um, not being able to be part of that grief, not being able to mourn together, um, or even pay our respects in person. That was a challenge

However, a positive from that came that ability to communicate with people virtually over the phone, Um, and almost maintain that contact with people, um, away from a face to face contact. But just through telephone text messages to really show, you know, we physically might not be there, but our support is there on an emotional level. Um, so I think I think appreciating the smaller things in life really helped, um, strengthening bonds and relationships in families and relatives and friends

Um, that that that really came up as well. It was really interesting. Um, often I saw with some friends and relatives like, um, we we we'd arranged to meet up, Um I don't know, like every three months or six months, but in lockdown, we increased our level of interaction which we normally wouldn't as friends and relations as well

Yeah, which is, which is quite odd that that you would have thought actually, it it would have died down. But actually, we were communicating. We were chatting a lot more

We were texting a lot more. I think we psychologically we used to think, OK, we'll wait till we next meet up. Um, but because we knew that meet ups not going to happen, we we made that effort to let let let let let's just, um, keep in touch this way

So, in a weird way, um, that's been a massive positive, Um, having friends close by and and and and having that contact and a different way of kind of strengthening those roots and those relationships because sometimes also in the real world, I remember before lockdown. I don't know about you. You sometimes put off meeting a friend and you go, I haven't met that friend for six months, and he only lives like, 15 minutes down the road

You know, it's like we haven't gone for a cup of tea and this is before lockdown. And then sometimes you go. Actually, now, I mean more in contact with people that I wouldn't would just have seen or would have just gone and done something occasionally

Every couple of months, I'm more in contact with them on a regular basis, I think. Can I ask you the question? How are you? Sorry. Sorry

Sorry. Did I interrupt you? No. Sorry

Go on Sale. Um, how do you feel? Things are gonna be for you moving out once Because we've got this road map now, haven't we? And this road map is supposed to be, you know, fingers crossed something that's going to lead us by July. We're gonna be out of this

We're going back to the new normal or normal or whatever that is. How is that for you? How do you feel about that? As we're moving through this covid the vaccinations and and testing and and it looks like we might be returning to some kind of more open environment. I I I'll be completely honest

I I've got mixed emotions on on this. There's a part of me that's excited, you know, it's almost like this reclaiming process that I can reclaim my life as again, or even my freedom and independence. You know, it'll be nice again to plan things, go places and and and orderly

Uh, I'm thinking of going places I've never been before. Just just because it just makes you appreciate your kind of liberty to travel around much, much more. On the other hand, um, I'm anxious

You know, I I I think I've got quite comfortable working from home and being in my own surroundings. Um, I'm anxious about going back into the big wide world. Um, I'm anxious on on on the level of, um, safety

Maybe, Um, just just, you know, level of transmissions. Will those increase again or not? Or if if we do go back, how long will it last for? Will it result in another in another kind of, um, you know, spike in, in, in in, uh, recorded cases. I know people are having the vaccination, so that might manage it as well

I think there's anxieties of getting back into that routine, waking up extra early, getting up, um, you know, getting ready for work, driving to work, commuting. I think I've become quite comfortable within my four walls. And I must admit I am anxious to return now to the big wide world again

So mixed emotions, mixed feelings, mixed feelings. Yeah, well, I think I think that's been a really lovely I feel it's been really lovely chatting to you the bear, Um, and I'll stop the. Is there anything else you'd like to say or comment on before we we close the interview? I I I guess the only thing that I'd like to kind of comment on, um, because because I work in in mental health, Um, it is It's been interesting, Um, that I I I know in my community in particular, the bame community

I know it has impacted them because obviously covid covid has not been discriminate. It's it's impacted everyone, Um, but it's been interesting to see that, unfortunately, the referrals from the Bain community has still been low. Um, and and and And I guess I was just reflecting on that that that I I I know this taboo

I know there's stigma. I know there's difficulties, um, for that community to access services as well. Um, and I guess it's just that notion of, you know, suffering alone

Um, it it it it's difficult because I've seen my own mental health really been impacted. During covid, my stress levels increased, anxiety levels increased. I felt low at times because it was just limited activity

When you get that weird feeling of a lot of disassociation, I don't know about you where I feel like, kind of out of joint everything seems really like there's a delay or my just my cognitive thinking has suddenly got really narrow or really confined. I don't know if that's happened to you, but I think it is definitely without that. I think it's the isolation

I think it's just the disconnection. Um, each day seems the same. Um, almost that's fatigue, really physical and mental fatigue, Um, and and and just feeling a bit zoned out and and and And I think that's possibly because all the days in the week just merge into one day because there's nothing really different happening

It's It's It's Groundhog Day over and over again. Um, and and And I think you know, um, the media hasn't helped. Uh, I I remember there was a point where I actually restricted how much news I watched during during the peaks of the lockdown because that I I just felt it's adding to my anxiety

More good news. It was never good news. Uh, everything

Megan. Marco, The whole thing hasn't been good news. There was nothing, I think I think we're desperate for good news and just nothing's coming through

So, um, you know, they say ignorance is bliss. I was like, OK, I'm gonna turn off the news now. Uh, it's depressing me even more rather than motivating me or encouraging me

So, um, yeah, I think that's another tip. Really. To to switch off the team or the news right now

Not to too much of that. Yes. Social media

Yeah. Go for a walk. Go spend hours on the phone

Could I Can I just return back to one thing? You said so in terms of what you're witnessing in in, in terms of the low level of referrals from people from the community, what do you think could be How do you think people from those communities could be encouraged to To to engage more and to bring their problems to to some kind of support on a professional level? Sure. I think I think this has been a longstanding issue. Um, it it goes without saying there's a lack of awareness of of symptomology in terms of recognising, What is depression? What is anxiety? What I've seen in the community, they tend to the maize, the mental health problems much more so they'll go to the GP that you know, I've got aches and pains

I've got a headache, but not really recognising. They might be a result of depression or stress or anxiety. Those physical in the body

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah

I've got all these physical symptoms, So I you know, I should I go to the GP then? Should I medicalize these symptoms then? Definitely that That that That what you mentioned there about describing the symptoms in the body more than rather than the mind. And then we've got the the taboo, the stigma, the worry that, you know, Will I be labelled in the community? Will I be excluded in the community? Will it affect my future in the community? I think there's a lot of negative connotations when it comes to mental health, and I I I think breaking some of these barriers, but I I I I guess it's difficult. Um, because unfortunately what I have seen in the mental health services

There's a lack of bain practitioners as well. Um, there's a lack of culturally sensitive services, and the Bain clients struggle. Um, doing therapy through translators

Through interpreters, they find that incredibly difficult. So I guess it's on a two level same lived experience as you. In some ways

Yeah. Possibly. Yeah, yeah, yeah

In some ways. Same understanding of the culture. Same insight

Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah

So I guess it's on two levels. Yeah, I know that. I I've I've heard it from people who've got mental health issues when they go to a therapist or a counsellor, and they've now some people from the from the the community across the board would prefer to speak to someone from that from that, because they don't have an understand a a white counsellor, even with the best intentions, might not have the experience

They might not have the experience of racism, not understand the basis of the cultural issues that are going on for that person as well at the same time, or the history of of that person and the wider history of that person's upbringing as well, which I think is kind of must be kind of key in lots of ways, I think, you know, and and, you know, that's really interesting. You you You talk about that? Because from what I've seen from my experience, that can be a Catch 22 as well. Uh, because some people then fear that if I see a therapist from the same community, there's a worry of confidentiality

Will they go and tell my problems to y Z? Um, and then this specifically may request to see a non Bain therapist. So it's so difficult to get that that that that Yeah. Yeah, that that's hard work

Um, but yeah, I I guess there's a lot of work to be done in the community. Yeah, I reckon. I reckon

Well, thank you very much for speaking to me. Welcome, Sir Hill. Thank you

Thank you for giving me the time. I'm gonna stop recording now, but you'll still be on on screen, so that's great. So I press the right button and not delete the whole thing

So I'll delete the whole thing for for goodbye, for the interview. Thank you for the interview. Very much, Zaia

Thank you. Thank you. You're most welcome

Thank you..