This film has been produced as part of the CoSIE project with participants involved in the British pilot activity. In this thematic edit, the storytellers discuss their experience of probation services in-line with personalisation. Find out more at:

it was. It was a lonely, lonely experience. It was as if I was just on my own when it actually finished. I was felt depressed, and I noticed I was stupid

But I I did actually feel depressed when it finished because I had something to get up for on a Saturday morning because obviously my wife wasn't there. I know my daughter was at home, but I mean, she was out quite a bit. So there was only me left in the house and it was a horrible feeling

Probation has taught me a lot. It's taught me, um, that I've got a maintain my composure. He's told me that I've got to stop laughing out at things that I don't wanna do

So what would you like to see? If that's a magic moment to be treated more like an adult? Not like a a teenager, You know, you you know there should be more maturity in it if that makes sense, because a lot of people that caught them women are older. We're not. We're not teenagers

They make a deal. But I just find, I don't know. I just get treated like you feel belittled a bit, if that makes sense, you know, because we've all got intelligence

You know, the only reason that I've come to food probation is I'm not a serious bad person. It's just circumstances through domestic violence, through people. You're around, you know

But there should be more to do with domestic violence because a lot of women do. It does stem a lot of problems from women does stem from domestic violence. I'm not a not been involved in violence or such or anything like that, you know? And I'm the reason fairly well educated

Got 10 G s E s, two a levels and a degree. Um and so we use the sessions in my probation sessions to sort of talk and, uh, deal with my issues and and, you know, how can we What can you do yourself to move forward rather than it be all about? You have to be here because the law says you've got to be here and sign on once a week or whatever. And and I never did see it as that

I I embraced it as this is someone in an organisation who is here to help me get back on the right track. I expected to feel I was there, and I'll get through this, But I didn't. No matter how much the supervisor told me I'd be OK

I really just thought to myself I'm not. So what do you think was making you feel that embarrassment in case somebody saw me? Um, I was petrified that I would be saying when I first come, I didn't really want to. I used to go to the office to my appointment, but I didn't really want to come to the group because I was out scared, thinking, Oh, it's going to be there

People judge you, but yeah, it's all right. Yeah. You know, you've got to come every week, but something to look forward to, to be truthful, Um, I was motivated, um, to change a career because I really wanted to help people

And I wanted to fight with women as well, because that's something I've always been interested in. I wanted to change a career. I wanted to get away from light in people's pockets where I could support people and looked into careers such as the police

And have you decided permission was the area where it suits my personality so I could actually sit and list what other people made what other people want to improve their lives. And how could I be part of that? How could I support them? A mention of of peer mentoring and that was that was a light bulb moment because it made me think I can I can do this. I can get into the probation service or the Prison Service and help change people's perception and their mindset and get people into thinking I've done bad

But I've got skills. I've got transferable skills that if I've lived a life of crime and I've used those skills for a negative, turn them into a positive, there's far too much, um, you to work basically. And the numbers you, um, you don't know whether you're coming or going

I can't remember the faces sometimes now of people, because, especially in new cases, um, because you don't spend much time because you're having to put so much on the system all the time. There was a lack of support, I found, Um, I'm quite an intelligent person, always worked, and at that point in my life, I was just I was there. There was nothing

Um, And I felt a little bit let down by the service in the respect that because I was this this, you know, hard working person that I was kind of left to my own devices in general. I found probation. OK, I, my probation worker ignored me, though via email, phone calls and emails, she was only sympathetic when I had broken my ankle and then was not able to follow through my unpaid work

Well, I suppose I've been in probation a really, really long time. So this split is not what I would have wished for. And I still have concerns about it in terms of ease, of movement between the two organisations and public sector issues and all of that

I've got lots of thoughts about that, but, um, I think, um, the practitioners still delivering really good service to the service users they work with.

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