My Year of Lockdown

Okey doke. OK, we're recording now. Hi. Yeah

Maria. Excellent. Um, hi

Hi. How are you? I'm here to interview you tonight, Um, with in connection with, um, community reporting. So, um, because we've met before, I thought it'd be really good if we could get back together and and, um, do this interview

So, um, what the what this is about is, um, the pandemic. We've all been living through this pandemic for a year now. It'll be a year on the 21st of world

And, um, lots of people have have been had different experiences through the the pandemic. Um, so how has how has the pandemic actually affected you? Um, in lots of different ways. Really? Um, some good

Some not so good. Um well, where do I start? Um, I think I think mainly it was It's been It feels like a bit of a blur now, because, like you say, it's nearly been going to be a year. Um, and in some ways, um, because I'm a carer for my dad

I'm I'm kind of at home, and in some ways it's easier, because I don't have to go out and, you know, well, like no one can go out. So it's kind of it's kind of, um, even, like for shopping and things I've had to delegate in that because obviously, for my own health reasons, I can't put myself at risk. Um, so in some respects, it's been kind of like a cocoon, if that makes sense, um, where? I've just kind of cocooned myself

Um, but, you know, there's been a lot of, um, ups and downs, like I say, Um, I mean, at the end of October, Um, I ended up testing positive for covid, um, and was hospitalised for six days. Um, and that was a very tough situation. Um, because I think my well, my nieces, um, were the ones that kind of brought it into the home from school

Um, And so even though I was very cautious anyway, due to having like asthma, um, it it was it was tough because, actually, I didn't expect to get it. If that makes sense, because I was, like, overly cautious. Um and I suppose even with family, it was it was a case of, you know, be careful

Even though you're going out, you need to really look after yourselves. You know, make sure you cover up properly and all of that, Um, but saying that what was meant to happen happened. So, um, even though I did test positive, um, and was hospitalised and all of that, I think my main concern was my mom

Probably more so because she's had a liver transplant. So and my dad, he's elderly, and so they were my top priority. Um, but luckily, even though they ended up having covid after me, they weren't affected to that degree as to why I was affected

Um, and so, yeah, it was a strange one. Um, I think initially, my family didn't really think it was that much of a a threat. Um, I think they just kind of thought it's something that's out there, you know, like when people talk about cancer, it's out there

But it you know, you don't think that it would affect you. It was kind of along those lines. Um, but of course, when when it happened, it happened

And then it kind of hit home and was a very real um, so yeah, so that was like, my main kind of concerns were regarding my family. Um, and I suppose the other thing one Well, actually, one of the other tough things, um, throughout this time was the loss of my very close, um, personal friend, my best friend from childhood. Um, And she passed away, um, in June, and so that was a really, um, bizarre experience because I wasn't really able to go to the funeral, or I mean, we we we had gone into just was and we stayed in the car simply because I couldn't I couldn't not be there if that makes sense, you know, we we didn't leave the car, but, you know, just being there, it kind of helped that process of closure

Um, because otherwise I just I was inconsolable. I just wasn't able to comprehend what had happened and let her not being able to, like, meet with her family and all of that. So that was for sure

One of the toughest things that I've had to go through, Um, and can I, um it must have been really, um, a struggle. It must have been a really, really hard thing to go through. And, um, funerals are are not very, uh, good, But there are what they are is a time when when we're meant to be saying goodbye to each other and and passing on, aren't they? And being together as as families and as as people who knew the person that's passed, Um, how how has that affected you not being able to to be part of the funeral, as you would have normally? Um, like I say, Um I mean, the thing is because it wasn't covid related, but we still had to abide by the covid rules

Um, so it was a bit of a Well, it was awful. Quite Honestly, it was awful. Um, not not being able to even console her family

Um, you're bringing up some stuff for me now, but you know it it was it. And I still find it hard to accept because it's kind of just gone by, like, a dream, like it never happened. Um, because, like, I mean, we're still not able to see each other family wise

I mean, I've been speaking to my my friend's mom, um and and that's been really helpful, actually, just reconnecting. And we you know, we pick up the phone and we speak sometimes and And that kind of kind of builds a bridge between the distance. Um, but it it's been really hard, because even with her Children, you know, I'm a very kind of I'm the kind of person that is very, like, affectionate, and I and I love giving hugs, and I love getting them and and not being able to do that with the kids

That's been really difficult, you know? Like it's just like, Oh, I can't use it too much. Um, but, you know, I suppose that's that's just the situation that we're all in. Um, but yeah, I mean, after this, definitely

I will be paying a visit to them, you know? But it's been It was really hard. It was not something that is ever that I've ever experienced. Um, because every other death, you kind of go and you you get to see the process and you're there, and you kind of get a sense of closure

Um, but not having that contact was was really tough. Really tough. Thank you

That's that's really, um good for you. Good of you to share that. That's right

So what? What kind of things have you been able to put into place to look after your your your well being. Um, well, I've been doing a lot of, like, arts and craft and painting. That's been a really a good avenue for me to kind of express how I feel and and also to to kind of, um, feel the joy of life

You know, I felt quite trapped at times, Even though I'm in my own home. It was quite a, you know, confining kind of feeling. Um, So I had to have some form of an escape to kind of lighten things up because, um, yeah, I definitely needed that

So most of my artwork is around like, the beaches and kind of, you know, um, oceans and all of that kind of natural, uh, beauties, How I how I love to express my art. Um, So, yeah, I I That is one thing that is definitely part of my self care routine, which is trying to do some form of creative work. Um, or some project that I have, whether it's upcycling or whatever it is

Um, but yeah, definitely. That has been It has to be a part of my, um my my you know, with a weekly structure or whatever, because I find that I start to have a dip. Otherwise So I need that to keep me going, like a pick me up

I mean, I just went out. Well, I I went to the range not too long ago, and I picked up the, um I don't know if you know, about media pouring different, um, paint pouring techniques. So yeah, it's really I mean, I love it because it's so fluid and it and it almost looks like water when you when? With the paint pouring

So you'll have different colours. And that kind of gives that Ripper watery effect. Um, which I love

So I'm just like, I've got that project ready set to go because I'm, like, looking forward to doing that. OK, so so you you kind of, um, giving yourself things to do You're planning forward. You doing all the time and and making sure you've got things to do is that That's right

That's right. I find if I don't have a project in place, I like, I say I start, I start to feel a dip. Um and I mean, I suffer from anxiety and depression

So for me, I have to schedule those kinds of activities. Um, otherwise it I I feel the, um the kind of zoning out feeling. So, um yeah, that's that's I mean, that's something that I've been, um, working through with my therapist

She helps me quite a lot in structuring how I move forward. Um, so she's been a big part of my, um, mental well being and, um, support system. Really? Um, but yeah, definitely scheduling

Kind of, um, any creative activities, even whether it's cooking, because I love the whole I love baking. I love cooking, but I do have to make a plan of it. And I I mean, I struggle with spontaneity, Um, because my anxiety kicks in

So I do have to kind of have something thing, but also, it helps me look forward to different activities. So, yeah. Can I ask you, um, was your stress and anxiety worse or worse before lockdown, or is it worse since lockdown? Um, I mean, my family life is quite stressful anyway, um, but I think it's probably been worse

It's probably been worse in terms of, um, having been stuck at home um, and not having an outlet. I mean, I love going out and exploring different places, especially like the nature and like, parks and even seeing my friends and all of that. So that's had a knock on effect, obviously not being able to do any of that

I mean, we have been having, like, zoom conversations. We've got get togethers on Zoom. Um, but it's it's not the same thing, you know, just being together and just, you know, having a good old chat and that that not having that has been has made it difficult

Um, so prior to lockdown, I always had that option. You know of like we're going out making plans, getting out of the house. So when obviously lockdown happened, I mean, I'm quite a home body

Don't get me wrong, but I still have the option of going out when I need to. And that because that restriction came in place, it just it stopped all of that. So I had to find a different avenue, which, which is good, because it allowed me to get back into my creative, um, you know, creative projects and things

Um, but yeah, I would have It's been hard. That sense. Yeah, definitely

How have you accessed your creative projects? Have you gone? Have you gone to Well, I'll just leave it at that. How have you accessed your creative projects? Has it all been through going up to the range, as you described earlier? Oh, have you been able to know everything? It was all online shopping. It's only now that I've been I have had the vaccine that I've been brave enough to actually go out and yeah, I've not I've not I've not been wanting to go out at all because of, you know, just feeling like I'm at risk

But since I've had the vaccine, it's it's definitely made me, um, braver to kind of step out and be physically in a shop and and kind of be around the things that I love, like candles and art supplies and all of that. But most of it has been, um, online, like I say. And I actually find that Pinterest is probably the best tool for me to be inspired

Um, with, like, all of my things that I want to do. Um yeah. Pinterest has played a big role in that for sure

That's that's really great. I I like I know that our connection is not very good. So I hope you can still hear it

It's been perfectly fine. It's been really great. So, um, so you've had the vaccine, then how did that go for you? OK, did you have any side effects? Mhm

Mm. Um, well, I was eager to get it. To be fair, I was eager to get it

There was a lot of there was a lot of, um I don't want to say drama, because that's quite a strong word. There was. There were a lot of conflicting opinions about the vaccine, even amongst family members

Um, but I was adamant that I wanted to get it, and that was the way forward, because that's how I felt. I just felt like, you know, all of these conspiracies are out there. I just didn't fall into that category

Like, I'm sure there's some you know, a small percentage of, uh, concern for sure. But for me, I was adamant that, you know, it was something that I wanted and that I encouraged my family also to, you know, be prepared to get because um, Like I said, my main concern was them My my parents. Um, so my mom was a bit reluctant for sure

Um, but we managed to get her to come around, Um, plus being on, you know, having had the liver transplant, it's a must. You know, it's something that her own specialist had, um, encouraged her to to go ahead and and get so, you know, she didn't really have much of an option. And, um, I said, Look, the thing is, this is the way that life is going to be able to get back to some sort of normality

Um, And so, like I said, just by having the vaccine, it has made it easier for me to go out and step back into the world again. Almost because you know it. Up until that point, I just was not comfortable

So definitely, I mean, my my sister, my dad, my mom, everyone's had it now, so you know that I'm so glad for that. Um, but yeah, it was I You sum up now, you say your sister, everyone in your house has had the vaccine. How does it feel now? Um, does it feel um, less or more, uh, of a stress for your mental health

Now that everyone's been vaccinated, it's less of a stress. Yeah, it feels more like freedom. If if if I was to say anything, it feels more like, you know, we're able to open the doors to being free once again

Oh, right, that's really great. So that sounds like I was sat in a prison. But it's not

Yeah, but it's It's, um yeah, I was saying, um, it's like being at work all the time because I'm working from home and I've got a small house I've just got I'm working from my dining table and I it doesn't feel like a prison. I'm free to go out when I want to it, um, but it's been strange. And when I get up in the morning, I'm at work

I don't have that time between you know, when you you get up, you have your shower, your breakfast. You do your your morning and then you go and you get the bus or you get the car and things like that. It's been different

Um, so it's constant, isn't it? Yeah, it's constant, which staying in has been constant, hasn't it? Yeah. Is there anything else that you'd like to to add? It has. It has, um but the, um Well, I'm just thinking about mental health, Really? And I suppose, um, like, I mean now I use, um, support to recovery

Um, for like, a lot of my, um uh, like, when I want to explore things and I wanna get back in touch with the world s two r, for me is is a godsend. Um, because I can just go in, do a session and then just kind of, um, go back to life, but with, like, a positive kind of pick me up kind of thing. Um, and I've actually just, um, logged on, not logged on

I've actually booked on for, um, a few sessions with them, um, and via zoom. So it's really nice of them that they're actually sending material out, and then we could do it together. So we're like, we'll be like, making natural shampoo with, like, essential oils and and so that kind of thing, it's so exciting for me

So and I and I love being with people who are on, like, the same wavelength um, so that's that's been really good. And I've been doing a lot of courses, Um, you know, just to get me back into the routine of being connected with the world once again, because I've been, like I said, shut off for quite a while. And so now I just want I just want to shed all of that and be looking towards the future

Yeah, that's really nice. I'm gonna thank you for sharing all that with me and the well done and the vaccine as well. That's a big move

And, um, thank you. I stop recording now, all right?.