If there was ever such a time that there was no such limitation as racism, sexism, feminism and capitalism or that the media did not feel that it had a right to confuse me with depictions of myself that created images that wee as far apart as an elephant and a bird. If there was not an assumed shortage of men which created a sociological pattern upon which the expectations of my life were to be dictated by this or that trend. If I was able to grow up with my self esteem intact and be confident and able to choose the type of life that I would like to live. If I could really and truly choose what type of mother that my soul desired me to be then this is who I would be.
I would have stayed in my parent’s home until I was able to maintain my own. The father of my child would be someone who my spirit chose because of his ambitions so clearly compatible with my own. He would be someone who has similar ideals to the ones I have with regards to parenting and childrearing and would have an outlook on life which matched the one I have. He would be a man who challenged me to achieve the best that I can, someone who is gentle but precise in supporting me through hardships with realistic expectation whilst following his own goals, with my support.
By the time that our children arrived, our family publishing business would in a position to be managed by people we trusted. This would enable us to focus on raising our family whilst creating a foundation for us to establish something that would occupy our creativity and be a source that our family could find something to be involved in.
My main focus once my children arrive would be on being a mother. This would involve shaping the mind of my children to inherit the peace and love that I possess by having the type of life that I have chosen. I would be able to spend as much time with my children as I would like. I would wake up to the sound of them stirring and be there to share their day as they learn new things about life, not missing any of their valuable moments. I would have the time to lovingly prepare their meals that would not only taste appealing but would provide them with the essential vitamins and sustenance that their body required. Through the day we would expose ourselves to media that would reinforce our appreciation of us.
As the day drew to a close I would meditate and say a prayer of gratitude for the life that I have been given. I would end the day talking and listening to the man who enables me to experience such beauty and joy that are my family. We would reflect on the day we just had, and reinforce our good lovin’ and fall into a peaceful sleep.
My reality is that I am raising a beautiful daughter with the assistance of her father. He shares her care physically and emotionally. As I am not in a position to establish a business that can afford me the time to fulfil my ideal, I choose to do a job that I enjoy and hope that my daughter is happy with her after school care. My mental support comes from my good friends and confidantes who provide me with a critical ear at the end of a busy day. As my reality at this moment in time does not look anything like what I described I will continue to visualise, pray and meditate so that I can create me some semblance of my desire
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