Quote from body of story: "if it wasn't for the Devizes Covid19 Support Team, I'm certain I wouldn't have survived"

This story teller chose to be anonymous while sharing their experience and feelings of lockdown 

Everyone says how the community will be better and more together, but I’m not convinced. I’m not putting it down, but world war one, world war two and the black plague, people will be people - self-considerate basically - but unfortunately that’s just people. It’s a shame, because it’s a massive learning curve. But I can’t see us getting out of this semi lock down, this new version of life, not until way after Christmas. Because people are being silly, gathering arm to arm down on beaches and stuff, we are still in the middle of a pandemic.

 I’ve definitely been getting more help. My vicar has been giving me more help because I’m a hoarder. I’m one of those original recyclists! If I see something in a skip, I’ll pull it out and fix it! But you can’t that anymore because it belongs to the skip people – it just breaks my heart each time. I can’t do it anymore anyway, I’m not nimble enough

Q: what was it that made you go into voluntary lockdown?

What was going on the news. I don’t listen to much news, but I could see something was going in China, a bat flu. There’s something there fake, it wasn’t man made. They thought a laboratory gave it to bat and the bat escaped, but their security wouldn’t allow for that would it? If you so much as sneezed, you’d likely be irradiated! For a whole bat to escape then get eaten by a person, isn’t a realistic story. But then how did it suddenly appear? If it’s like the black plague? So I don’t know how it came to be. I put myself into lockdown for my family, because if its that easily spread, and it hits you in a few days’ time you could have talked to hundreds of people in that time. Its best to self-isolate and keep away from it.

Q: what was your life like before you voluntarily locked yourself down?

That’s where the bit about me feeling very low on the dole came in. I’ve been very active since I was a child, I was washing cars, 10-15 at a time. The thought of being everyday available for jobs, I know you’ve got to look for jobs, its part of the Job center. But you just couldn’t go anywhere or do anything it drove me mad and I nearly committed suicide when I was on the dole. But then I learnt to stretch things and so on, but it still didn’t prepare me for this. I basically went back on antidepressants. I didn’t go out much but to things like church and a singing group, and a little bit of shopping. But I couldn't even do that. Then the orders online went mad (during lockdown). If it wasn’t for the Devizes Covid19 Support team, I’m certain I wouldn’t have survived. I would have starved to death. Iceland did a thing where they saved slots for vulnerable people, but I couldn’t book a slot even though I’m a vulnerable person. Then you couldn’t phone them because they had cancelled the phone lines, you just had to just turn up at the store, but I couldn’t do that and just walk around with all the people in there. It was bad enough when it was empty, no one keeps their distance.

My vicar told me about it (Devizes Covid19 Response Group) and the same day I got a thing through the letter box. They were brilliant. In one way its sad that its finishing, but it was done by volunteers and you know, they need to get their lives back

I used to do microscopic welding, but I can’t even wire up a plug now. I’m waiting for the Men’s Shed to open, but again its run by volunteers so could be a long time before it opens.

I fell down the stairs before lockdown. I hurt my back when I was 25 carrying a 25 stone bloke down 7 flights of stairs when a building was on fire and we weren’t allowed to use the lifts, but he was a wheelchair user. It wasn’t lifting him that was the problem coming down the stair with the extra weight, I didn’t even feel it until a few days later, then I passed out. Later I was doing a computer course, and I moved some computers and it was like a red-hot poker was stuck up my back, and I just cried. There’s only one pain I can say it is like and that’s being caught on fire head to foot. It’s only because I fell down the stairs and fell in the bath. Keith had come round to drop a charger off, he was supposed to be getting ready for a service, but he stayed with me and made me feel a whole lot better, because the ambulance crew took 6hrs to get there. This was just before the lockdown. That’s what woke people up, I’d been saying it for years and years but that’s what made it happen.

Q: how did that accommodation move work during lockdown?

The vicar and others that I should really name, because If it wasn’t for them and their hard work I wouldn’t be there. A lot of it was waiting for the lift of lockdown because some 90 yr olds in the building I was moving to and they don’t want to catch it. At one point it didn’t look like I'd be able to go. Its still difficult to move now, let alone back then. You should really speak to the vicar because I’m just the end result

I’ve got an IQ of 176, I used to write music and write it in a few seconds. There’s no where to do it now, the vicar said I could do it in the church but its still locked. I wrote so much in such a short time, so it was a wedge of music that can’t be copywritten. I didn’t copywrite it anyway I just gave it out. It was all sorts of music, mostly 80’s music. I wanted to be anonymous, they called everyone “untitled” and that’s what I called myself. I appeared in the British singles charts once, in the first edition 1979-80

My view on depression is (it is like) being a sunken ship, on the bottom, quite safe but sunken. Then therapists come along and blow you up, search through the bit and find the easy bits to fix. Then you have to spend the next 2 years piecing your life together again. So I said no – I don’t want that.

Update 10/08/20: The church has re-opened, they can give you bread but not wine. We can’t sing, and of course can’t do the peace greeting but we do a special sign and talk instead. It’s strange, but then life is strange now, and it’s better than nothing

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