The world's richest bank has been putting the armlock on me. Re-payment of a largish loan begins in 35 (sigh)days' time.
I don't know if you've ever given-up on hearing from a most valued friend then in some unlikely location walked right into said individual
These recent experiences of mine which look set to resolve the bank's problems were several times as good as that.
First off, Babs came on the line. Me neither I'd never heard of her. After confirming my identity she had well over 100% of my attention
with the killer line: you've been selected by our computer for a £1000-00 reward. I KNOW why she had to confirm my ID. We don't need these sensible sums of moolah being distributed willy nilly to every Tom Dick, Herbert...No
There's £1000-00 somewhere with my name on it practically.
Well in common with too large a proportion of the Great Unwashed, I've done a hefty stint of cold-calling from Centres set-up special with this end in view. For no good reason particularly I'll level with you: Time shares had something to do with my last foray into this area of activity (And to my eternal credit I was sacked from there)
Yep in that business we dished out awards with wild abandon.
Likely there was some computer involvement. But we kept mum on that score.
Of course what Babs' employers knows and she may have an inkling of it, is the unconscious connection between a computer and infallibility. So she held my attention for a trifle longer than would otherwise have been the case. Then a degree of cynicism and the rush of everyday events brought me sharply into touch with reality; and I was short with her.
That reward may now be on its way to you!
On the day before the lady found me, Sanjay was on the line, Sanjay from Stockport. He is to do with 'phones. By pure dumb luck he'd come to the right place. My own mobile telephony device, incorporates electronicry comparable with that which helped land a man on the moon. It looks crap though. If I get it out in public I'm to be seen eyeing said gizmo under the table. In a position not readily overlooked.
Sanjay had a reward for me too. He didn't mention a computer so had less of my attention than aforementioned lady; but you can guess that his largesse will result in the acquisition of a device to turn the most modest of you green. Not ecologically so either folks
[At his point on retyping the draft of this, a lady whose name I didn't catch (MBNA Europe pays her wages); she had another hot deal for me too. Gospel]
Twice now in two days, and another getting in on the act we see, a couple of grand's worth of awards have been promised. The extent to which these are guaranteed cast-iron copper bottomed - well you be the judge of that
So I'm on a roll. And although there isn't actual loot there for me to spend on a memorable night-out there's a glimmer of a solution just in view.
One thousand pounds a day relative to my present budgeting, is serious money. Over a month certainly it is. £97-34 is what I must grease the financiers' palm with over such a period.
There's no way I can think of but don't you just know Babs' computer might be able to come up with something. Where all that generosity is in some way transmuted into that which will totally address the bank's anxieties.
All I do is read them a couple of codes coming from Stocport, Europe anwhere - no actual work or cash input required from myself. Capitalists do it that way. I am a keen apprentice
Look: when Babs calls you, call me. I'm one for sharing. It'll be worth your while
{For whatever reason this took an age to get up here. Brief note:
When I started writing it was prose not verse, now it's verse but for blog purposes it's unlikely to be verse. Hopefully it'll be of interest. I met a chap at a poetry gig recentlyand was saying something along these lines to him. He gave me a web address which I'll put in one day's blog. He reckons to make a bit of money from short prose pieces. Coming up... Thanks for reading thus far}