A friend recently gave me her tongue in cheek decoding of the terms’ meanings. What do you think? Add any further definitions via ‘comments’!:
Established writer
One who is able to pay utility bills without recourse to Cash Generator or night time working.
One who receives royalty payments that would afford a half decent second hand car out of Loot.
One who has received over fifty rejection letters from publishers.
Emerging Writer
One who is able to borrow money from friends on the back of a promise to repay them just as soon as their brilliant collection of poems / short stories / novel hits the shops.
One who has received under fifty rejection letters from publishers
One who dreams fitfully of fame and wealth.
New writer
One who lends the emerging writer money believing the emerging writer when s/he tells them it will be paid back promptly upon imminent receipt of royalties.
One who dreams unashamedly of fame and wealth.
One who believes ‘How To’ books contain all you need to know about this writing lark.

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