I've had a bad back for 7 months now.
It wasn't too bad at first. But around March it escalated so much that after 3 hours of sleep i would wake up and not be able to take full breaths of air because the pain round my back would stop me inhaling properly.
I'm a real staunch advocate for the NHS and keeping health in the public domain. However, with this ongoing problem I feel like I've been let down. From a mixture of arsey GP's (who were arrogant enough to ridicule a second opinion of a friend of mine.... who is a nurse!) to long waits in between appointments and needing to explain myself and my story. Every. Single. Time. It gets frustrating after a while. I'm on very strong painkillers for it now and about to have my third department appointment to see what can be done. Granted, the painkillers have meant no more difficulty breathing, but i still wake up every morning, in pain, and it only gets better with movement.
I've had to take 2 sick days off so far because of it, which is not bad in 7 months, but I worry it will get worse as time goes on. Do you know what the weirdest thing is? All I really want? A diagnosis. I want someone to come up to me and say "you have XXXXXXX". Then i won't feel like such an idiot when i say I'm in pain because of my back. Everyone gets back pain now and again. Giving it a label will mean I don't feel like such a fraud whenever I go to the doctors. It will make me feel so much better. I know that may sound strange but imagine having a pain/a worry/concern that you have no idea if other people have felt it before. With nothing to compare it to, does it mean anyone can truly understand how it feels?
I guess that is the deep rooted feeling I have at the moment. But also fundamentally, I just want to not be in pain anymore. That first hour and a half after i wake up (or during the night if I'm having a bad night - or all day if it's even worse!) is not pleasant and really gets me down. I have quite a cheery disposition as a default but I feel different in myself compared to 7 months ago. The fear is that the NHS are just going to go "*shrugs* sorry, nothing we can do". And I join the list of people who live with constant pain (which frankly, I did no realise how many people i kno w who did!)
Am I just being pathetic? At least it's not pain all day? Anyone reading this live with constant pain? How do you find it?